The Bourne Ultimatum

Bourne Ultimatum

So Jason Bourne is back and I had to go see him.The whole series has been kick-ass so far.Taking each one to the next level.

This one, I have to admit, is a step back.

Firstly Matt is looking definitely chubby in scenes, taking away his lean and mean image.You just want to tickle him.The villain is leaner and meaner than him.

Everything else is the same the same.The usual chases with the shaky camera perhaps more shaky this time which greatly adds to the whole confusion.And if you are coming down with the flu, as I was yesterday, it adds to the headache and brings on the fever the next day.

Summer colds are hell.

Jason finally remembers everything.Turns out he volunteered for this position of trained and brainwashed assassin.Its all part of some rogue CIA type of group connected somehow to the US government.All the incriminating information on the group is conveniently in one guys safe all together.So convenient.So boring.Jason just lures them all out of the building, goes in and before he even steals it, calls the guy and tells him that is what he is doing!Didnt know Jason was brain-dead in this one.

He steals this one pathetic looking spiral bound notebook, and hands it over to someone else, who faxes it to someone and all villains end up in a congressional hearing!Can it possibly get more boring than this?He doesnt even smack any of the big villains around.Not a single punch is thrown at the main villains who are all old and grey.So basically its a chubby guy and two old guys and no one dies or gets beaten up.Bah!

Yea yea they threw in the obligatory saving of the girl from certain death chase where Jason jumps from building to building and through windows and whatnot like a fat monkey. And the car chase with Jason in the miracle car that survives multiple crashes including a fall from the roof.

But there was an amazingly cool thing.Last month, my buddy and I got new cell phones the Motorola Razr in black.Actually his wife got him one.Then I admired it so much, she got me the same one.Shes fun.

All the assassins in the movie carry our phone!Throughout the movie, the head honcho keeps sending messages on this phone.The assassin flips open our phone theres a photo of Bourne and whoever else they want dead.Away he goes to murder in style.

So after the movie, we had to play.We went back to his house.Wed flip open our phone, study the screen carefully, and then slink around the house with our finger gun shooting at each other.We drove his wife nuts.That was the funnest part of the movie.

If you want to see it go ahead dont say I didnt warn you.By the end of the evening we were calling it Barf Uglymatum.Then this morning it occurred to me it would be more appropriately called Boring Uglymatum.

First Harry Potter then this when will I get to see a good movie next?Seriously.