Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal

Rating: 8/10

The first thing that everyone will be asking is how Goal compares to Chak De India. Here’s my answer: Chak De India scores more goals. Viewed on its own, without the precedent set by CDI, Goal is a decent sports film, but loses out slightly because of a somewhat haphazard first half and a few off-sides.

 In Chak De India, Shah Rukh Khan had to redeem himself. In Goal (which is set in the UK), Arshad Warsi needs to save his club from greedy real estate sharks, Boman Irani is a coach who also has to redeem himself, and John Abraham is a supremely talented footballer who wants to break into the big league. In between, there’s Bipasha Basu, whom I’ve liked only off-screen, playing Arshad Warsi’s sister-cum-team-physiotherapist.

 I watched Superman II last night on TV and couldn’t help but compare its screenwriting with Goal’s. The Christopher Reeves Superman movies were made in an era without the endless possibilities of computer graphics imagery, and their special effects were miles ahead of their times. They just look cute today, but what really struck me about the film was its superb writing. It’s about two and a half hours in length, but there are just a few sequences, and each one of those sequences is so tightly written, executed and given closure that there’s not a moment when we feel things are sagging a bit. Goal, on the other hand, tries too many long-range shots at goal. It ends up having quite a few superfluous scenes that don’t go anywhere, apart from a couple of subplots that aren’t really dealt with effectively and could have been left out.

 The football scenes are good, though, and make up for the lack of co-ordination in the first half. Arshad Warsi isn’t a footballer and had to undergo quite a bit of training. On the acting front, he’s reliable as always, providing further support to my belief that actors who can do comedy can do anything else, but not the other way round. Watch Ajay Devgun in RGV Ki Aag for proof.

 John Abraham, on the other hand, has said that right from his younger days, his two passions were bikes and football, which is why he looks quite convincing as he sprints around the field. As for his off-the-field performance, I’ll say this is one of his best (although I still haven’t had a chance to watch No Smoking). This is one film where he maintains character throughout. The only other role in which I found him memorable was in Zinda. The Korean actor in Old Boy was obviously better, but John’s screen presence and charisma were more evident.

 Bipasha Basu doesn’t add anything to the film except one memorable line. I won’t tell you what it is, but you’ll know immediately when she utters it. I wonder if Anurag Kashyap was the one who wrote it.

 Anyone playing a coach in a sports movie this year has a really tough act to follow, coming on the heels of Kabir Khan, one of Shah Rukh Khan’s few genuinely good characters. Boman Irani is one of a very small group of actors who can fill boots that big, and he doesn’t disappoint. The way he raves and rants during the big matches would do a Jose Mourinho proud. Raj Zutshi, another perfect actor, provides most of the comic moments. Dalip Tahil makes an entertaining villain.

 Speaking of villains, why do Indian films frequently pick up firang actors who can barely act? Apart from Lagaan, Salaam-e-Ishq & Rang De Basanti, most gora faces in Indian films seem to have been picked up from among tourists roaming around Connaught Place. The woman who plays the city council chairperson or whatever exudes absolutely none of the menace required of a negative character.

 One error in the film, I think, is that Dalip Tahil’s commentary is broadcast over loudspeaker to the entire stadium. I haven’t been to the UK, but I don’t think any game or sport anywhere allows commentary in the actual playing area. It looks even more stupid as his commentary is in Hindi.

 Goal will probably do good business, though, which is a good thing for the industry. Apsara hall, where I watched it, was nearly full, and people were loudly cheering during the climax football matches.

 One of the things I’ve come to believe about human nature is that for people to not fight among themselves, they need a common enemy. All thoughts of riots and stuff take a back seat once it’s time to cheer for India against Pakistan. In countries like the UK, Indians, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis are one against the goras, which is what we see in Goal. And if aliens attack, then goras and kaalias will all join forces like in Independence Day.

 Sports films are always about the triumph of the underdog. While Chak De India tells its story deeply grounded in realism, Goal throws in a lot of melodrama and even an item number. Thank God, though, that it was the only song. It’s a relief that we’re moving away from the Hum Aapke Hain Koun days. Very rarely, one comes across gems like Jab We Met, where the songs are not only apt but also beautiful. Unfortunately, most of the time, we get songs that are so, so, out-of-place. Think of Shootout At Lokhandwala.

Bottomline

Final score – Chak De India vs Goal :   7-4