Salaam Namaste

I know this is kind of late ..but recently i have seen this movie again with nothing better to do and wanted to paste the review i have written for it long back..here it goes..all characters are fictional and any hurt caused is purely unintentional.

Hi Iam Nick, I work as a cook(cooly called as chef) in this all-dreams-become-true country. I hail from all-dreams-get-fucked up country.I and some other bunch of jokers from my black country have landed in this white country. I put always I first since iam a donkey.My father as every other father in that country is a moron.He wanted me to become an architect. I came here and I became what i wanted to become all time.I can't be what i want to be in my country becoz in my country u are not allowed to be what you want to be.

Hi this is Ambar here,mispronounced as Hambar.Iam a girl with many dreams and i too have a moronic set of parents like everybody else in that country which officicaly claims itself to be free. I can't win my parents but i can win this world,just allow me to be free.So i came to this country where We are treated like God's children.I came to become a surgeon here and to cover my spendings i work in a radio station "salaam namaste".I like punctuality and sincerity and i think iam sincere too ..iam very much
openminded but sex is a taboo..afterall i belong to a rat-shit culture.

I treat sex as a synonym for love even in this free-world.So naturally when i moved in with this dumbass called Nick,i was "naturally" terrified where my room will be since without marriage we can't have sex at all..bcoz u know iam sincere and i love punctuality.In no time we had sex without marriage but that was purely accidental..though we had two big separate rooms ..but still iam sincere and i love punctuality.

The reason for me running off from that ugly country was my beautiful sister..she had to get married and she bore children in no time and i couldn't bear the problems she was facing with her life.. and soon i will have the same life..So i ran off to my beautiful land.I come here and now i get screwed by some handsome cook without marriage and he and i had it sooooooooooo good ..iam too having two children just like my sister.So we both(my sis and i) ..have the same life but iam sincere and that bitch isn't.I love punctuality and sincerity.Now i want children ..the same thing i would be having had i stayed in India,but u know there dreams can't become true.

Hi again Nick talking back..U see though i don't like strong relationships i can't bear to see my girl frnd having kiss or hug another man.Iam modern and cool but my ape-aping culture tells me that it is wrong.I see children as a nautral hurdle for me to have sex with my girl frnd everynite..bcoz u know they cry and laugh and all that shit..they should have been born adults..strong people like me..modern and cool.So naturally i was angry with Ambar,we can't love each other now..you may know what love is for me..and she being pregnant it can't happen.

But one day i was talking to my other cook frnd and i saw this kid who came to lick my ass.I completely changed and i went back to say her that even kids have the ability to "love"..which hitherto, was possible only for born adults like me.But it was too late and that morons inside where kicking her ..they wanted to come out of that shit inside..they were the products of divine love.So here i have to have to talk abt that doctor who served as the mid-wife.He though can't talk english in this english land was a gynecologist.My girl frnd runs off frm my illiterate country to become a doctor and here i see all doctors frm that illiterate country.Dreams come true,ooh!! yeah..He and like every other gynecologist has to look inside to see wat's happening..so he had a good,close look and now thanx to him..i have two kids to love.

We now "love" each other everyday and i love my kids...thanx to my producer and director who have taught my lowly countrymen year after year what is love and what is a relationship..My country is great and i love it but i don't like to stay in it.