Yaadein

after the extreme frustration that this movie evoked in me!

I have a bone to pick with practically everything and

everybody in the movie, but I will stick to some of

my major beefs:

SUBHASH GHAI

I have never been guilty of hailing Subhash Ghai as one of

the scions of Bollywood, but his movies typically have a

wholesome, 'time-pass' quality to them. In fact some,

for all their goofiness, are even entertaining.

Not this one by a long shot!

The psyche of the immigrant Indian is probably one of

the hottest movie themes these days, but I am sorely

disappointed with Mr. Ghai's luckluster effort. After

watching Yaadein, one can easily summarize Mr. Ghai's

opinion of the immigrant experience thusly:

(a) Immigrant Indians are rich...

(b) ...but some are richer than others (e.g. 'businessmen'

are upper class while 'restaurant owners' are middle

class), and are acutely aware of this fact

(c) The second generation is healthy, wealthy, wise and

wonderful. Not to mention, with oodles of the kind of

talent that Bollywood reveres (carrying off skimpy outfits,

singing, dancing, knowing Indian 'sanskars' and speaking

Hindi like a poet).

(d) The westerners are morally empty, and nothing

much to write/film about.

(e) Both the first and second generation Indians speak

English with a 'pseud' Indian accent.

RATI AGNIHOTRI

One never learns much about her save that she is a loving

mom and wife, as well as a Sanskrit professor, and has a

favorite shloka or two that she is fond of sharing. In a

bizarre, steoreotypical sequence (white cops in a shootout

with a black hoodlum), she is instantly demoted from her

exalted status to that of a common road kill. She periodically

appears now and then as a figment - most of the times to recite

the shloka that is the alleged inspiration for this movie.

Not much of a comeback vehicle - even in the mom slot.

JACKIE SHROFF

I have to confess that I have never been a fan of Mr. Shroff's

presence in any movie, let alone this one. A dad's role was

a good start, but it goes downhill from there. In most scenes,

the man looks woefully confused, and is doing the wrong thing.

Thankfully, several of his scenes are against the backdrop

of a party or some other event where liquor is involved, so

his bloated, inebriated look is almost convincing.

Oh, BTW, he also nearly becomes road kill (in a different scene from that involving Rati). OK, we get the point, traipsing in the streets in England is not as safe as in India!

HRITHIK ROSHAN

OK, my expectations were a bit high after Mr. Roshan's

flying start, but what a fall! Hrithik's

role is a cross between a dotcom entrepreneur and an organ

grinder's monkey. Most of his outfits would have done a

pimp proud. His acting is restricted to a giggly, fast

talking, high pitch voice for comedic moments (actually,

too many Bollywood actors are guilty of this technique),

bleary eyes for darker moments, and his failsafe, smiles &

dances for happier moments. But it is quite difficult to

appreciate his rare positive moments when you want to wring

his neck during most of the movie.

For those of you who were not convinced that Hrithik is

extremely good at Base-11 arithmetic, there is ample evidence

of his three thumbs in this movie. It is distracting to

say the least - I guess plastic surgery or CGI technology

in India is not mature enough to eliminate it from the screen.

KAREENA

Strong female character opportunities are typically wasted

in Mr. Ghai's movies, and it is the same here. Kareena's

character is supposed to be mature, sensible, sacrificing,

and strong, but she comes off as a petulant child in denial.

But, despite her role and dialogues, she was somehow

the only bright aspect of this movie.

THE BIMBOS (OTHER THAN KAREENA)

Sorry, but there is no other way to describe them. Actually,

one of the sisters was tolerable. The other was in sore need

of a hairbrush on her behind. There was another sideshow who

looked like Bollywood's answer to Shannon Doherty. I am not

going to rake up painful memories by elaborating this section.

THE MUSIC

Anu Malik is improving - a couple of songs are actually

hummable. Maybe he is getting better at disguising his

plagiarizations or is diligently working hard for his money.

The title song is rendered by Hariharan and is very good.

But you know what, by the end of this movie, the tune is

tattoed on your brain. Another of Mr. Ghai's tactice to

ensure that you leave the movie hall humming the movie's

signature tune. Yup - the tune is played in almost every

scene in the movie.

THE TITLE

I have no idea why the movie was called Yaadein (not that

I spent much time trying to figure it out!). But it, in a

nutshell, stank. Mr. Ghai could have christened it as "Paadein",

and saved all of us some time & money.

-dar